Journal for 3 Oct 2007: Kelly Dunks, RIP
My phone at work rang a little after 3:00 this afternoon, and I picked it up to find Lisa sobbing on the other end. I had a brief moment of panic wondering if Mathias was OK, but a few seconds later I finally made out what she was saying. Kelly, a good friend of hers from her time working at Hamline, was dead.
Kelly was an interesting guy. I got to know him after a while, and he, Lisa and I even hung out from time to time. (That included one ridiculous trip to the northern suburbs last year to hit one of the few theaters still playing Cars. We ended up being the only people in the entire theater.) I could use a lot of words to describe him: Friendly, goofy, neat… Kind of a stereotypical gay man, but not to the extent it would be commonly found annoying. He was smart, too, a Harvard grad who didn’t make much noise about the fact.
I’m not sure how our place became the designated gathering spot, but there’s now a large group of people out in the sunroom, all friends of Kelly, talking on phones, checking email and sharing whatever information they have. Right now no one has much, just speculation and accounts of the last time they saw him.
I should be studying. I guess I felt weird going ahead with my classwork without saying something first.
I’m sure there will be more on this later.
I, too, am a friend of Kelly’s, and today was a sad day indeed. Here’s what I do know — he left work early Monday, missed work Tuesday, and then they found him today when his boss was concerned that she hadn’t heard from him. I’m concerned that he may have had a relapse of his addiction, but I hope it was just something natural that caused his death. No matter the cause, though, we will all miss his quiet nature and kind spirit, and trust that he’s in a better place now. We will all miss Kelly in our own ways…Rest in Peace, Kellard. You’ll be missed.
Comment by Friend of Kelly's — 20071004 - Thursday @ 1:15 am
I knew Kelly. He was a good guy. Its shocking to find out he is gone.
Comment by John B — 20071004 - Thursday @ 1:48 pm
This is very sad news. I had a few classes with Kelly and he was a pretty nice guy. I haven’t see him since graduating though. Any additional information would be appreciated.
Comment by Mike — 20071004 - Thursday @ 2:28 pm
Kelly was the brother my husband’s best friend. He was at our cabin in Montana during the 4th of July and was very proud of himself for completing a long rode bike ride. We really enjoyed being around Kelly.
I was googling his name to see if there was more info about his death in Minnesota, and I happened upon your journal entry. It helps to know he had some close friends there.
Comment by Lori — 20071004 - Thursday @ 4:36 pm
Kelly was the brother of my husband’s childhood best friend. He was at our cabin in Montana during the 4th of July and was very proud of himself for successfully completing a long rode bike ride. I can still see and hear his laugh.
I was googling his name to try to find more info about his death in Minnesota. I happened upon your journal and am happy to know he had some close friends. Kelly was a great guy.
Comment by Lori — 20071004 - Thursday @ 4:41 pm
This message, regarding Kelly’s passing, was delivered to the Hamline campus community Thursday afternoon…
We’ll all miss him tremendously. He was intelligent, kind, caring, fun, and energetic, and his spirit will carry on in the minds of those who knew him well.
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Dear Hamline Community,
Today we mourn the loss of a member of our Hamline family. Kelly Dunks, senior financial aid counselor, graduate student, and Hamline alumnus, passed away. He was found deceased in his home yesterday afternoon. The cause of his death is unknown at this time.
Kelly has been a member of the Hamline community for many years. He graduated from the College of Liberal Arts in 1997 and began working at Hamline as a financial aid counselor in 2004. He was currently pursuing his MFA in the Graduate School of Liberal Studies and was also a campus colleague for a FYSEM. For those who knew Kelly best, I know you will agree that his kindness, his generosity, and his friendship will never be forgotten.
Please do not hesitate to reach out for support in our caring community of Hamline. Counselors are available to students through the Office of Counseling and Health Services at 651-523-2204. The Religious and Spiritual Life Office is offering spiritual support to all students, faculty, and staff members. You may contact the chaplain, Janet Wheelock, at 651-523-2315.
Kelly’s family has not yet informed us about funeral arrangements. We will get that information to you as soon as we receive it. We will also be planning a memorial service here on campus to honor Kelly, and we will advise you when those arrangements are made.
President Linda Hanson
Comment by Friend of Kelly's — 20071004 - Thursday @ 6:12 pm
Dear Kel Bel,
I loved you like a brother. I told you this once, on one of your darkest days. I hope you heard me. I hope you knew.
Lis Patrice
Comment by L — 20071004 - Thursday @ 11:40 pm
I met Kelly through his family and enjoyed his company at several functions. He was a friendly, fun-loving person. I hope he is at peace.
Comment by Friend of the family — 20071005 - Friday @ 1:58 pm
I too came across this site when I was searching for more information about Kelly. I was deeply saddened to hear of his passing. He was such a kind, intelligent, and humble person with a quick wit that would always make me laugh. I remember one Halloween when we dressed up at work together, he was a monk and I was Queen Victoria, we had so much fun taking pictures. I still smile when I look at them. Kelly I will miss you. I hope you are at peace.
Kacey
Comment by Kacey — 20071005 - Friday @ 3:35 pm
I also have fond memories of Kelly’s laugh and his whispering-under-the- breath quick wit. I remember taking him and another good friend to W.A. Frost in St. Paul back in the summer of ‘94. (Yes, Kelly, I’m telling this story on you.)
Anyway, when it came time to pay the bill, Kelly absolutely refused to contribute his portion of the tip. Yeah, he was a tightwad. I’ve since teased him about that memory…may we always remember your laugh, Kelly. Rest in peace, my friend. Maria
Comment by Maria — 20071005 - Friday @ 9:40 pm
Kelly and I went to Hamline together and were roommates for awhile. We had some wild, exciting and turbulent times together. I was so shocked to hear of his death. Hours before hearing about it, I was cleaning out a closet and came across a bunch of pictures of us and friends from Hamline, our trip to Cancun, our wild summer trip in an equally wild car….
I will forever regret not staying in closer contact these last several years. I take comfort in the fact that he knows he was loved and is being remembered for everything beautiful.
Comment by Jen — 20071006 - Saturday @ 2:03 pm
I knew Kelly from the age of 5. We suffered together in grade school all the way to high school graduation. I will always regret not staying in contact with him. I am glad to see that he stayed the same loyal and caring person. He told me that when he grew up he wanted to be a “snob”… I don’t know that he quite achieved that but I am so glad to know of all his accomplishments. He told me we would survive the school bullies and that we would have lives that would take us far beyond them. I love you Kelly Jo and I will never forget skiing down the Silver Bow run at Discovery peeing my pants because you had me laughing so hard. My God grant you peace.
Comment by amy (wold) reed — 20071008 - Monday @ 2:06 pm
I will be speaking about Kelly tomorrow at his memorial service. I remember some of the best times of my life were with Kelly. He was generous, loving, sweet, curious, and very intelligent. I am very sorry to see him go, but i am very happy to have known him. Good bye old friend.
Comment by Reggie — 20071010 - Wednesday @ 10:01 pm
I too found this site when searching for info on Kelly’s passing. I was a friend of his when we both lived in San Diego. Unfortunately we lost touch when he moved away and I will always regret not making a stronger effort to stay in touch with him.
I found him on Facebook a couple of months ago and added him as a friend but never got around to calling him. I saw a sad comment someone left there and that’s what tipped me off that something had happened. Kelly was such a unique, big-hearted person. I loved him and will miss him deeply. He was funny, intelligent, and quirky. I know that he was troubled in SD but the last I heard from him things were going well in Minnesota. I wish I knew what happened. Regardless, I miss you Kelly and will never forget you my old friend. 
Comment by Dimitri — 20071011 - Thursday @ 1:22 am